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05:56 AM :: Bad Music sample.
"Jonah and the Whale"
Jim and Tammy
In honor of Tammy Faye Messner's passing last week, here's a li'l piece of audio from her early days of entertaining, when it was her and Jim and a bunch of puppets. Expect lots of annoying voices in this telling of the Jonah & the whale story.
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05:35 AM :: Harry Potter, book 3.
Book The III: Harry Potter and the Anti-Harry Potter
SYNOPSIS: Harry Potter battles someone that looks and acts exactly like him. This is basically my chance to coast in the middle of the series, since I just have to type everything twice to fill up the requisite 750 pages.
Stuff that also happens: Harry battles some evil, while at the same time learning that he's gaining power, with which comes great responsibility and candy that tastes weird. You get the idea. Also, people are killed that you weren't expecting to die.
NOTABLE MAGICAL ITEMS IN THE BOOK: Phlardamom Q. Mumblefuggit's Hore-tacular Bridle of Twice Stinging, which allows Harry to ride any horse in the world (even if the horse is not present, which makes for some awkward moments); Senator Quimblebottom von Horrenwifflepoofenquidilliy-dum-daggit's Flappable Siderests of Specatularity, which is a beer can that you can throw at someone and cause them to have bad breath for 16 hours straight; and a never-ending bottle of Tang.
SAMPLE DIALOGUE: Harry stared at the newcomer. "Why, you look just like me!"
The newcomer gaped. "No, YOU look like ME!"
"No, YOU look like ME!"
"No, YOU look like ME!"
"No, YOU look like ME!"
"No, YOU look like ME!"
"No, YOU look like ME!"
"No, YOU look like ME!"
"No, YOU look like ME!"
"No, YOU look like ME!"
... later on in the book ...
Harry cursed his bad luck. The Magic-Eckers tournament was coming up in two Wizard-daylengths, and here he was laid up with a sprained ankle! He'd never be able to maneuver his Flying Butterfat Cake across the Magic-Eckers Field of Boasting and score the requisite Wizard-goals for his teammates!
The Anti-Harry Potter smiled. "You're not going to play in the tournament, are you, old man?"
Harry felt his face redden. "Yes I am!"
"No, you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No, you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No, you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No, you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No, you're not!" Reminder: the rights to this new series of Harry Potter books are still up for grabs! Are you listening, Hollywood???
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